Ask an Atheist: Questions from a Christian Mom

JUN

29

My step-father just died leaving my mom all alone.  

She is a dedicated Catholic who never misses church on Sunday.  

She has Alzheimer's disease, but still goes to church.  

I took her last year, but my brother is taking her now.  

At 84, Alzheimer’s not the worst thing in the world.  She is more affectionate now and is more tolerant of children.  Rephrase that: she always disliked being around kids, but now she enjoys it.

She lived pretty much symptom free until she turned 79.  

Then things began to get tougher.   

First, the crossword puzzles became impossible. 

Then emails.  

The card group did not want her because she cannot follow the rules.  

She forgets birthdays.  

She does not know the president.  

She cannot even remember my name. 

I want my mom back.

It is not going to happen.

What I can do is remember our conversations.  I am the atheist who was a thorn in her side.

Mom: Hello?

KJ: Hi mom, how are you doing?  Did you go to church this weekend?

Mom:  Of course, but I don’t see why I can’t drive any more.  Did you go to church?

KJ: Unless I’m taking you, I really don’t go to church.

Mom: Why don’t you go to church?  I have failed as a mother.

KJ: Look mom, I can understand why it’s so important to you that I go to church.  You yourself haven’t missed church in what, over 50 years.  

Mom: Well, I’ve probably missed a few times in 50 years.  But you have missed more than that this past year.  

KJ:  I’ve probably missed more in the past month.

Mom: Oh, I have failed as a mother!

KJ:  Come on mom, do you really believe that?  You insisted that I graduate from college.  I have.  You bugged me constantly about getting married.  I finally did.  You wanted me to have kids.  Now I have two.  I have a job that pays well.  So you have failed?  If you could trade any one of those if I would just go to church every Sunday, which one should I give up?  The happy marriage?  The two kids?  The college education or my job?

Mom: Don’t be so glib young man.  Believing in God means that you have everlasting life in heaven.  I want my son to have a future beyond life on Earth, not to be stuck for all eternity in hell.  All of the things you mentioned make me proud, but you not going to heaven makes me feel like I’ve failed.

KJ: What does heaven mean to you?

Mom: You know, happiness after you die.  No one knows exactly what, but it’s a lot better than hell (laughs).  I don’t want you toiling around in pain until the end of time.

KJ: You know what makes me the most happy?  Finishing something that took a lot of effort.  Like reading a book that’s 1,000 pages.  So I guess heaven is going to be a lot of time spent on something followed by moments of complete bliss.

Mom: (Giggles) The ways of God are not to be understood by mere people.  Don’t act like you know the answers because it’s impossible to understand.  What do you think heaven is?

KJ: Well I don’t really believe in heaven or hell, but it could be a metaphor for old age.  As you get older, if you’ve lived a good life, you are in heaven.  You are proud of your kids, they come to visit you; you have friends.  If you are in hell, then you are depressed thinking about how poorly your children turned out, they don’t visit you; you don’t have any friends.

Mom: So by that definition, am I in heaven or hell?  

KJ: You raised wonderful children!  That should bring you some heaven.

Mom: I guess so, not that I really agree with your heaven and hell.

KJ:  Yeah, mine isn’t black and white.  I feel like you are mainly in heaven, but might have a few regrets that put you in a little bit of hell.  I don’t think anyone is 100% one or the other.  Anyone can feel heaven and hell are right here on Earth.  The better you are, the more heaven and less hell you feel.  Live for this life; don’t live for the next one that doesn’t exist.  Heaven and hell beyond this life are pure fiction.

Mom: OK, you don’t believe in heaven or hell.  What can I say?  We don’t know for sure – no one can understand God.  Still, you have a lot to be thankful for.  Which is the exact reason why you should go to church - to show your thanks to God.

KJ: Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for.  I should give back in some way.  Donating to a cause.  Volunteering in some way.  But go to church?  What is that going to accomplish?  

Mom: The Lord said to keep the Sabbath.  It’s one of the Ten Commandments.  Perhaps you’ve heard of it?  God does not ask for a lot, but he asks that we show him respect and go to church every week.

KJ: Yeah, I’ve heard of the Ten Commandments.  Thou shall not kill thy neighbor and all of that.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to murder anyone or anything crazy. But I do not want to follow a God who is so insecure that in order to make it into heaven, that he keeps a tally of all the times I’ve gone to church. Why do I have to fawn over him and kneel down before him?  It sounds like a dictator who is an egomaniac.

Mom: You mock what you do not understand.  You have to have faith.

KJ: I understand.  You want me to have faith so I will be saved and have everlasting life.  But what if I just don’t believe it. 

Mom: But you cannot know for certain.  Why not cover your bases?  Just go and if I’m right and there is a God, then you go to heaven.  If you are right, then there is no harm done.  You just spent one measly hour a week at church to give thanks for all that you have.

KJ: Like I said, I understand you are looking after my eternal being, but I don’t believe.  And if God can be that easily fooled by just simply showing up to church when my heart doesn’t believe it, then I do not want to believe in him either.

Mom: I have faith that God is going to have a place for me in heaven after I die.  It’s peaceful.

KJ: Faith to me is an excuse not to think. If something doesn’t make sense, don’t think hard about - just have faith. 

Mom: But if you don’t believe in God and don’t have faith, then how in the world are you going to have any morals?

KJ: Seriously, you believe that I don’t have any morals? 

Mom: I’m not saying you don’t have any morals, but you have to realize there is something greater than yourself.

KJ: I’m not some raging egomaniac.  Hell, anyone who has a kid realizes there is something greater than themselves.   Look, once I had my first son, I was no longer the most important thing.  Everything was about him first, me second.  So yes, there is something greater.  Two things greater.  My two kids.

Mom: But not everyone has kids.  And even those that do need to know that there is something greater than themselves.

KJ: And not everyone needs religion to be the answer.  Having kids makes you think of others.  Just listening to the news or reading the paper does the trick.  Every time I read an article in a magazine or hear a podcast, I suddenly feel extremely lucky and am very thankful.  And that’s without believing in God or going to church.

Mom: Thankful to whom?

KJ: I don’t know. The cosmos.  I guess there could be a God, but God doesn’t speak English or any other language.  He’s a force.  His language is mathematics.  He isn’t swayed by emotion.  If the poor are dying on the street, that’s part of the big picture for him. And Christians go to him to seek out what is right or wrong.  Madness. 

Mom:  Don’t act like you know all the answers.  No one does.  Maybe you are getting God mixed up with the devil.  Without God, why would you care what is right and wrong and doing the right thing if heaven is off the table?

KJ: Jesus.  Look, everything I do is going to have consequences.  I want the best life I can, so what choices do I make?  I pay the bills so I don’t end up in the gutter.  I clean because I want things tidy and easy to find.  And it makes my wife happy.  I am good to my friends because I want them to be my friends.  I don’t say bad things about people, because it will haunt me.  In other words, I try to do things so I won’t feel guilty and make others happy.  Why do I need God to tell me what is right or wrong?  It’s pretty easy to figure out what to do when you think about how it is going to make your future self happier.

Mom: It’s useless talking to you!  Don’t you want to make your poor mother happy?  Go to church.

KJ: Would you rather that I take you to church without believing or be honest and not go.

Mom: I would rather that you take me to church but honestly, I don’t see why I can’t drive myself.  You and your siblings have taken my driver’s license from me. 

KJ: No we didn’t.  You failed five out of the seven driver’s tests.  The state took your license away.

Mom: But you forced me to take the test.

KJ: And now I will drive you wherever you need to go, OK?  I’ll be by at nine to take you to the 9:30 mass.

Mom: I’ll be waiting for you.  Love you, bye.

KJ: Love you, bye.

Want more conversations?  Leave any questions from a Christian to an atheist in the comment section below, and I will try to add them in future conversations. 

I Do Not Want to Go to Heaven

People ultimately have faith in order to get into heaven.  Heaven offers eternal life and pleasure.  So why not?  Imagine eating bowls of your favorite ice cream without worries.  As someone who has a sugar intolerance, that sounds wonderful.

But what gives you the most pleasure?  For me it is crossing the finish line after struggling to get there.  Maybe it's reading a thousand page book (wow, did I really just read that).  Or finishing a 5 K (those daily runs paid off).  Or going on vacation (after months of saving, working, and planning).

So for me, and I assume most, the best pleasures come after months of delayed gratification.  So if that is true, then heaven would be filled with work, sacrifice, and suffering.  That's why we invented purgatory and stories of angels trying desperately to save the downtrodden - because we instictively we know it's true that pleasure equals work and heaven has the ultimate pleasure.

Why do we ever get off the couch on earth when we can play video games, watch movies, and eat until we can eat no more?  Because that is not the ultimate pleasure.  And listening to angels play their harps in heaven for all eternity isn't the culmination of pleasure either.

So I do not want to have a heaven of nothing I have to work for ...

Why I Skip Church

My family wants me to go to church, especially on Christmas.  They say it is the least I can do to show respect for God.

But I do not want to worship a God that is so insecure that he needs me to go to church to honor him. I do not want to worship a god that is so insure that I needs to kneel in front of him.  I do not want to worship  God that is so insecure that he needs constant affirmation about how grand and wonderous he is whether it is a prayer or attending church.

My mom used to beg me to go for the children, but that seems hypocritical to me.  How can I bring my children to church if I do not believe in it?

My mom has gotten too old to make those demands anymore. I wish she could get better, but I won't pray for it.  It's impossible - part of God's plan, as they say.

No Comprendo Spain

I have just released my latest book - sort of. 

Part one is out and should be available for free.

However, Amazon only allows a book to be free for five days. 

How can I offer my book for free?

By publishing it again and again and continually using the promotion to allow it to be free for five days.

Today is Dec 1st.  This verison, No Comprendo Spain Part One, will be free until Dec 5th.  On Dec 6th, I will release the same book but call it No Comprendo Spain Part I.  Notice how I changed the "One" to "I".

Then on Jan 1, 2013, I will release No Comprendo Spain Part Two for $2.99.  Or the whole book for 4.99.  Of course Part One, Part I, P 1, etc. will also be available for 2.99.

Name Change

Saint Peter Killed God turns people off.  It sounds....too harsh. 

I've decided change the name of my book to something that sounds more pleasant.  Something that noone would be embarrassed to read.  Well, plenty would, but it does sound more innocent.  I've changed the name to If Jesus was Alive Today. 

I don't love it, but it's less of a turn off.

The problem is I've had trouble find my original verison.  I've changed the title on the book, but official, I cannot change the title without republishing the book.  And now the book is really confused: SPKG is the title it's listed under.  The cover says it's IJWAT and the pages list it as SPKG. 

Oh well.  My apologies for my lack of professionalism.  I'll change it soon.  But with two babies, papers to grade, and a missing flash drive, it may take longer than I want.

Now Out in Print Form

Saint Peter Killed God is finally available in paperback at Amazon and in 6 weeks elsewhere.  It's a long time coming and it's good just to get the book out there.  BTW, what do you think of the new cover?  Does it look like it was done by an amateur or does it look professional or somewhere in between?

http://www.amazon.com/Saint-Peter-Killed-God-Kron/dp/1449911900/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331251007&sr=8-1-fkmr1

My Reaction to My First One-Star Review

I knew it would happen eventually – a one-star review for Saint Peter Killed God on Amazon.

I’ve been begging Christians to give me low reviews saying things like, “I just don’t agree with the premise that Christianity must change.”  I must have asked a dozen people, but they were all too polite.  So when the reviewer said that obviously my friends had stacked the reviews in my favor, I saw his point.  My book needs some balance in its reviews.  Having ten nice reviews to one bad one, well, that’s pretty good odds and I deserved to be called on it.

Most of the review I can live with.  Skipping pages to get to what was happening in the psych hospital, etc. – all fine.  The one thing that got me was the claim of grammatical mistakes.

I recently got into an argument with a blogger.  He asked for my permission to post a review blasting my book for its horrible punctuation.  He didn’t know the rule about speeches.  It’s kind of an odd grammatical rule.  If you have one person speaking for more than one paragraph, there are no end quotes at the end of the paragraph but new quotes at the beginning of the next one.  I remember learning about that rule when I read To Kill a Mockingbird.  Atticus Finch closing remarks are punctuated that way. 

I wonder how many people even know that rule.

The blogger finally figured it out and apologized.

And I wonder if that’s why the reviewer gave me one star.  Did he not know the rule?  I say that because he blasted my book – and yes, I’m sure there might be errors within the book.  But nothing that warrants such criticism (I did panic when it was first published and my wife caught more than a dozen errors – after it was edited twice professionally).   And while this review doesn’t make me panic, it does frustrate me.

Saint Peter Killed God - Update

First - thanks to Daily Cheap Reads for promoting my book here: http://dailycheapreads.co.uk/2012/02/07/saint-peter-killed-god-contemporary-fiction-1-02/

Also, Saint Peter Killed God will be available as a paperback book by March 1st.  It really should have been much faster.

Nothing major to report - sales are up and down. Thinking about offering SPKG for free for five days to promote it...

On the home front, Xavier keeps growing.  And I am thinking about writing another book - Living in Spain Without Speaking the Language.  Of course a dozen or so ideas have popped into my head and haven't seen the light of day - I'm hoping this one does.

Thanks for visiting and say hello in the comments and I'll try to pop by your blog sooner or later,
KJ

Verizon Can Kiss My...

I opened my Verizon bill and fell on the floor.  How the hell did I owe $265.52?  I checked to see if I paid last month’s bill.  Yep, all 76.01.  How could my bill increase almost 200 dollars in a single month?

First, the 83 dollar call.  That’s right, one call, 19 minutes, 83 bucks.  That’s over 4.35 cents a minute.  Yes, it was an international call.  My wife usually uses those calling cards that you buy in gas stations where you only have to pay ten cents a minute. She ran out of minutes and thought, what the hell, I’ll make one call to my parents in Spain.  We didn’t think 19 minutes would cost more than say 19 dollars.  Wrong.  We’ll never make that mistake again.

We also had our phone line suspended while we were in Spain.  When we came back, we no longer had caller ID or voice mail.  I asked to have them reinstated.  Cost to have them added - $44.99.  Just to add what was on my phone before I left.  I never asked to have caller ID or voice mail removed. 

Add to that a new rate – instead of 76 bucks a month, we now owe 105.  That’s an extra 29 bucks just to have caller ID, voice mail, and the ability to make long distance calls if need be.  Wait, make that 139 dollars – I forgot to add the taxes.  I still can’t figure out why it jumped more than 40 dollars since before I left for Spain when we have the same plan.  That’s right, the same plan – and three months later it’s 40 plus more dollars!

How much of this bill is just foolishness intended to rob naïve costumers like myself?  

And as I simmer, I think about all the other bills that come up that my parents never had to pay.  Cell phones, data plans, cable bills, internet, satellite radio, not to mention daycare.  Ah, what happened to the stay at home moms - when both parents didn't need to work to pay for their phone bills. Most of these bills aren't  necessary, but it seems like everyone considers most of them vital.   

I’m going to look into Vonage – I need to drop Verizon.  Maybe I’ll drop the cable and pick up NetFlicks.  Here I am saving nickels and dimes by cutting coupons for the groceries only to spend dollars on a stupid fricken call.  I wish I could drop all of them and just live off the grid.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with billing nightmare stories.  Add yours here - it'd be nice to know that I'm not alone.

What is Saying the Lord's Name in Vain

Last year I got frustrated with my students and ended a sentence with “Jesus!” A student got so mad at me that I had to take him out in the hallway and asked him why.


“You aren’t supposed to use the Lord’s name in vain,” he said.

Jesus!

Do Christians’ believe that saying “Jesus” is against the Ten Commandments? If I say “Jesus”, will a little counter go off in the sky? Minus one for Kronlage; he said Jesus.

I’ve met people who are paranoid about saying “God Damn” because they believe that is saying the Lord’s Name in Vain. Do they believe if they say it enough, it will prevent them from getting into heaven?

So there I was in the hallway wondering what I should say to this angry student. I told him that I didn’t believe that it was wrong to say “Jesus” and if he felt it was wrong, then he should worry about saying it himself, not preventing other people from saying it.

That didn’t help.

I once heard a Christian say that he was in an airplane and it was going to crash. He said a prayer and miracle of all miracles, the plane didn’t crash. God heard his prayer and saved him because God had plan for him.

That is using the Lord’s name in vain. To be so narcissistic that he believed God saved his life because he prayed is a sin in my opinion. Does God not have a plan for anyone who died plane crash? What about all those praying for diseases to go away only to die? God must not have a plan for them either. To believe that God listens to one prayer is to believe that God denies all the other prayers left unanswered. How can anyone be so vain?

There are 6 billion people on this planet. If God spent one second on each person, it would take 190 years to get through the entire population of the earth if God worked around the clock without a break. To say that God listened to us is using God’s name in vain.

What are prayers for? The person saying the prayer. Nothing more. It helps one realize that we cannot control how things turn out. That there is some force greater than ourselves. But to believe that someone listens to our prayers is self-centered.

I couldn’t tell my student all of that so I let it go in an unsatisfying way. What would you have said?

PABBIS.org

Are you familar with PABBIS.org?  Check them out and tell me what you think.

The Funniest Novel I Ever Read - The Snow Whale by John Minichillo – Maybe, Maybe Not

A rarely laugh out loud when I read a book, so when I found myself doing that while reading the Snow Whale, I started to wonder what were the funniest novels I’ve ever read.


Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller come to mind, but they are both more amusing more than anything. And repetitive. While I like them, I don’t think they wrote the funniest books that I’ve read.

Charles Bukowski was a favorite of mine. I find his conflicts with society to be hilarious, although at times he can be pathetic and sad.

A Prayer for Owen Meany is a book that got me laughing out loud. But the entire book wasn’t that funny. Especially at the end when the narrator gives long sermons about skipping Vietnam, etc.

Which brings me back to the Snow Whale. Yes, it starts out funny. The humdrum of marriage, work, mid-life couldn’t be done any better and I thought that this might be the best comic novel I’ve ever read.

But the book offers so much more. And while there is a “fish out of water” element, it stops being funny, which isn’t a bad thing. Instead of novels that make me laugh, I started thing of Iron John by Robert Bly. In that book, he says that there really aren’t any true rituals or tests that initiate us into manhood. We are left empty feeling like man-children. And that’s exactly what happens to Jacobs. He is a man child on a quest to become a man.

What follows is an amazing journey. There are such tense moments at sea that I forgot that I was laughing at the beginning. No matter. This is a book that starts child-like and comic and grows into a more mature novel offering a lot more than just a few laughs.

So, what are the funniest novels you’ve ever read?

What is Your Favorite Bart Ehrman Book?

A reader asked me which book influenced me the most when writing Saint Peter Killed God. That’s a difficult question. Was she asking about what book on writing helped the most? Or which fiction book? She asked me if I had read a book by Pagels so I knew she was talking about non-fiction books about religion. Historical Jesus, that sort of thing.

Still, it’s is impossible to say where my ideas come from specifically. I can’t point to one book and say, “I got inspired here.” But when it comes to Christian history, Bart Ehrman is my favorite author. He writes in such a way that I feel like I’m just listening to him speaking. His writing is very accessible even when he starts talking about the complex. There are some weakness to reading so many books by one author because he repeats himself here and there. Like he might talk about reading the Bible ‘horizontally” vs. “vertically.” It’s a good point and he uses different examples in each book. Although I like what he says though, I haven’t yet tried it. Well, here are my Ehrman favorites:

1. Early Christianities – I find it fascinating that there were about a half dozen different types of Christianities that sprouted up and only one survived. Ehrman does an excellent job of not only explaining what each gr oup believed, but he also mentions which gospels they primarily read and why they lost out to the orthodox beliefs that Christians have today.

 2. The God Problem – I saw Ehrman interviewed on the Cobert Report for this book. Stephen asked him, “Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls?” Ehrman took a second. I almost felt sorry for him, but he came up with a witty response (to bad I forgot what it was). Anyway, this book goes into what the Bible says about suffering, which surprised me (even though I was familiar with it). Much of it contradicted itself and most of it is unsatisfying. What I really like about this book is Ehrman is willing to say that he just can’t be a Christian anymore. Some many writers of Biblical History / Historical Jesus bend over backwards to rationalize Christianity.

3. Misquoting Jesus – This was the first book by Ehrman that I read. Yes, I knew when the printing press was invented, so it makes sense that the Bible was originally copied. Ehrman explains the problems with this and shows how the early copies were possibly manipulated and why.

4. Judas Iscariot – I didn’t think this book would be too interesting when I picked it up, but I was surprised. It is a wonder that as much of the manuscript survived as it did. Ehrman tells us what is in it and why. Entertaining.

5. The New Testament: A Historical Introduction to Early Christian Writings – Yes, this is sad. I liked Bart Ehram’s books so much that I bought his textbook for his class. One problem – much of what he writes here is repeated elsewhere and it is a textbook. Still, I think it’s good.

6. Jesus, Interrupted – This is probably a good place to start. However, I felt like much of it was stuff I already knew and repeated elsewhere. Maybe it was a book I should have read instead of his textbook.

7. Peter, Paul, and Mary – this book will make the top five eventually, but I’ve just started it and unfortunately I don’t have it with me so it might take a while to finish it. I’ve read enough of it to know that I like it as it got me thinking about how Peter is portrayed. I haven’t gotten to Paul or Mary yet so I feel like I shouldn’t even include this book on my list.

Have you read any books by Bart Ehrman? Which are your favorites? Do you disagree with my list? Which ones would you suggest that I read?

How to Meet a Guy

I got married when I was 38. Before finding my wife, there was a lot of pressure to get married from friends, family members, and colleagues. Inevitably they’d say something like, “You might be able to find a girl at the supermarket or laundromat. You just have to keep your eyes open.”


I did. And going to the supermarket for 15 years as a single guy, I might have had a conversation once or twice with an eligible woman. So the book How to Meet a Guy in the Supermarket by Jessica L. Degarm grabbed my attention. Was there something I was doing wrong all those years?

Maybe, but maybe not. The book Sex in America lists the five most common ways people meet their spouses. The survey was done on people who were married for twenty or more years so internet dating sites wouldn’t make the list, yet. Here is the top five: School, work, introduced by a friend, church, and proximity (in other words, someone who is a neighbor you might see walking the dog, getting the mail, or in the supermarket). My wife and I are both teachers. We met at work through friends, so does that mean we met at school or at work or introduced? Either way, we met one of the most common ways. Obviously there can be some overlap.

Next on the list and in a distant sixth place was meeting someone in a bar. Meeting someone in a supermarket made the list but it was under one percent of couples but it was ahead of the laundromat, which also made the list. The author lumped them all together and called the category “meeting someone cold” – in other words, striking up a conversation with a stranger. Combined, it accounted for less than five percent of marriages lasting twenty years or only one marriage in twenty.

I wonder how many married people reading this met their spouse cold or are most of you like me - part of teh 95% that met their spouse the typical way?  Or through match.com or some other internet dating site?

So why is there this big myth about meeting someone cold? It’s romantic and the thing you’d expect from a movie. Or maybe most people who met that way never get married or end up divorced before twenty years of marriage. So when I picked up How to Meet a Guy in the Supermarket, I wanted to know if it revealed this secret.

What I got was a delightful read. Quinn, the narrator, is able to laugh at herself as she comes up with one idea after another, most failing in bizarre ways. She has a personality that sets the tone and makes the book charming to read even though at times I wanted to scream at her. In a way, it reminds me Goldie Locks in the Three Bears, but you have to read it to see why I say that.

Let me get this straight, this is chick-lit romantic comedy. It is fun. Imagine yourself watching a movie like “The Proposal.” It has funny scenes that make you laugh. This book works in the same way. And I could picture it as a Hollywood movie. As long as you know what you’re getting into, this book is pure pleasure.

And what’s the key to a romance? Keep the two lovers separated. Create a lovers triangle or two. When the right guy comes along, the reader knows who it is, but Quinn doesn’t. And as long as they are apart, the book remains interesting. The story doesn’t disappoint and it stays interesting to the end.

The Magic of Finkleton by KC Hilton

There is something pleasing about reading a book aimed at a younger audience. I’m reminded about why Malcolm Gladwell said Blue’s Clues is more popular than Sesame Street. Blue’s Clues is more obvious. The chair is called a Thinking Chair. Whereas Sesame Street tends to be for adults at times and is a little more sophisticated / subtle, like when Big Bird ponders what would happen if his name was taken away.  Children tested perferred Blue's Clues.


Which brings me to KC Hilton’s book.

Hemingway created a style where less is more. We are supposed to figure out every nuanced reaction. Here we are told what is going through each of the characters heads. We may know that a stomped foot means the child is frustrated, but here we are reminded. A child needs that kind of information. An adult doesn’t. But there is something pleasant, relaxing about reading a book that doesn’t require one to think too deeply about what every physical mannerism means.

And of course there is the fun of getting lost in the magic.

Finkleton is a magical place where secrets must sometimes be kept, and sometimes told. We enter a world before computers, i-pods. Well, actually this is a world before TV, telephones, and even cars. And in this world of Finkleton, everything is perfect for farming because of magic. But when the 80 year-old man passes who is keeping everything in balance, things at Finkleton start to go astray.

The three children are the heroes of this book. Each one has his or her strengths and together they can tackle the problems that they face, but can three children work together? They act like any child would, which makes this charming. And just when things start to straighten out, a new mystery is adding making me wonder if a sequel is in the works.

I’m not an expert on children’s books, but I imagine this is a good book for someone around 7 to 12. Or for adults who are looking for an escape to their inner childhood.

A Couple of Interviews

SPKG is out there and I've gotten a few reviews and a couple of interviews and a couple of offers for some more.  I'll let you know when more come in.  Thanks everyone for spreading the word.  Here are a few links:

http://www.hannahwarrenauthor.com/?page_id=1469

And a slightly older one:

http://www.speakwithoutinterruption.com/site/2011/05/interview-with-slush-pile-readers-first-author-kj-kron/

SPKG is also now available at Barnes and Noble as well as Amazon.com and at Smashwords.com you can get for any e-reader.  Don't have an e-reader?  Download an ap and read it on your computer (or wait til it comes out in print).

How My Account Got Hacked at Twitter And How I Could Have Stopped It

I got a prive message at Twitter from HolySlushPile asking, "Is this true about you?"  followed by a link.

My first thoughts were, "It must be a link to SlushPileReader because I just got published by them and since they are HolySlushPile, they wanted to see if I was the same guy."

So I clicked on the link and it brought me to the sign-in page of Twitter.  Hmm?  How did that happen?  Foolishly, I typed in my password, went back to the message, and tried again.

Same thing.  Sign-in page of Twitter.  I tried again.  This time it said, "Page Does Not Exist."

Then I see that HolySlushPile sends me another message - this one saying he had been hacked.

And then I saw that I was sending everyone who follows me messages, "You can make 3,000 to 8,000 a day - guaranteed," followed by a link.

My hunch: if you clicked on that link, it'd send you to the sign-in page at Twitter.  If you were like me and signed in, you too would be hacked.

I have since changed my password and hope that takes care of it.  I learned a lesson.  Don't click on to links sent as messages that are curious.  And if it brings me to the Twitter sign in page, I won't enter my password next time.

Frustrated Blogger in Spain

I've been trying to promotion Saint Peter Killed God from Spain via internet.  There's a lot to do on-line, but one thing that frustrates me is that every time I go to my blog, the links are in Spanish.  Instead of the .com ending, I by default get the .es ending - so instead of yahoo.com or google.com - I get google.es and yahoo.es - which isn't to big of a deal except for blogging.  For some reason I can't post comments on other people's blogs or even my own.  It doesn't recognize me.  I sign in, and then the comment says it's from anonymous.  Worse, it won't post it.

At least I can still post blogs.  For now.

First Week Sales for Saint Peter Killed God

OK, so after the first week I sold five copies of Saint Peter Killed God. Not a bang but maybe a spark. I want to thank the five people who bought a copy and not all is bad. I’ve gotten more followers on Twitter but now I’m worried. I started to think about what happened ten years ago when I was grocery shopping. I noticed a teenager staring at me while I was picking out spaghetti sauce. He stared at me as if he were assessing me as he walked by.


I went to the next aisle over to pick up some rice when I noticed him again. His hands were in their pockets as he strolled down the aisle staring at me from head to toe. He gave me a brief smile. I smiled back.

The boy was smaller than I was so I didn’t feel intimidated by him. He looked barely old enough to be in my freshman English class. He seemed to be the type that would sleep as I taught of Romeo and Juliet. It was strange that he walked around without a cart and didn’t look at any of the food on the shelves, but was that a crime? I thought about how strange it would be if I went up to the manager and said how I didn’t like the way this young man was looking at me.

As I continued shopping, I bumped into him several more times and tried to ignore him.

I was loading my groceries in my car when I heard a scream. I saw the same teen running away from a woman with her purse.

I could have dropped my groceries and chased the boy. Tackle him. Bring back the purse. And be a hero. I thought about doing it. But I had two bags of groceries in my arms. I looked down at my shoes. Moccasins weren’t the best running shoes. As I thought about saving the day, the distance between me and the boy increased as my chances of being a hero decreased.

I’m tempted to give up. Only five copies sold in one week. But I don’t want the same regrets of what I could have done. So I’m going to keep trying. I want advice – how can I get people to enter Slush Pile Reader’s sweepstakes? I feel SPR is being very generous offering a $1,000 prize, $1,800 in all. Please, if you haven’t entered the contest, do so now. Invite friends. Help me spread the word. I know a few of you have read SPKG on-line. You can do me a favor by writing a review on Amazon or Smashwords or somewhere else. Become my friend on GoodReads or LibraryThing. Become a fan on Facebook. And please feel free to offer advice by commenting on this post.

Metaphorically speaking, I’m ready to drop the groceries and give chase. I’m just asking for a little help.

A Modern 9 and 1/2 Weeks? Exploits by Poppet

There’s a scene at the end of Nine and a Half Weeks where Mickey Rourke throws 100 dollars bills on the floor and asks Kim Basinger to crawl on the floor picking them up. It is too much for Kim. Being humiliated for the last time, she leaves as Mickey does something he hasn’t done the entire movie – he tries to be intimate. But as he gives these personal details of his life, it’s too late as she walks out forever.


Exploits is similar to Nine and a Half Weeks. Besides both being sexy, the Stephanie character is constantly humiliated by Gary. As I read it, I kept waiting for the scene where she breaks, like Kim crawling on the floor picking up 100 dollar bills. It happens. And then it happens again. But even after Stephanie breaks up with Gary, he still manages to hurt and humiliate her again and again.

I’m reminded of the time I went out a few times with a sexy woman. She ended up standing me up not once, not twice, but three times before I got the hint. She went on to become a soap opera actress. But why didn’t I get the hint after being stood up once? Good looks go a long way and in Exploits, Gary is so hot that Stephanie is willing to forgive him over and over again. I found myself being lulled into her thoughts as I started to wonder if Gary would change. But Gary never breaks down like Mickey and tells Stephanie his inter-most secrets. No, that comes from others making it hurt all the same.

The real strength of this book is the tone that Poppet sets. We really get into the mind of Stephanie. We feel what she feels. Every line resonates with someone of her age from the slang to her ideas. And the title is perfect as a double entendre.