Monday, February 13, 2012

My Reaction to My First One-Star Review

I knew it would happen eventually – a one-star review for Saint Peter Killed God on Amazon.

I’ve been begging Christians to give me low reviews saying things like, “I just don’t agree with the premise that Christianity must change.”  I must have asked a dozen people, but they were all too polite.  So when the reviewer said that obviously my friends had stacked the reviews in my favor, I saw his point.  My book needs some balance in its reviews.  Having ten nice reviews to one bad one, well, that’s pretty good odds and I deserved to be called on it.

Most of the review I can live with.  Skipping pages to get to what was happening in the psych hospital, etc. – all fine.  The one thing that got me was the claim of grammatical mistakes.

I recently got into an argument with a blogger.  He asked for my permission to post a review blasting my book for its horrible punctuation.  He didn’t know the rule about speeches.  It’s kind of an odd grammatical rule.  If you have one person speaking for more than one paragraph, there are no end quotes at the end of the paragraph but new quotes at the beginning of the next one.  I remember learning about that rule when I read To Kill a Mockingbird.  Atticus Finch closing remarks are punctuated that way. 

I wonder how many people even know that rule.

The blogger finally figured it out and apologized.


And I wonder if that’s why the reviewer gave me one star.  Did he not know the rule?  I say that because he blasted my book – and yes, I’m sure there might be errors within the book.  But nothing that warrants such criticism (I did panic when it was first published and my wife caught more than a dozen errors – after it was edited twice professionally).   And while this review doesn’t make me panic, it does frustrate me.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Saint Peter Killed God - Update

First - thanks to Daily Cheap Reads for promoting my book here: http://dailycheapreads.co.uk/2012/02/07/saint-peter-killed-god-contemporary-fiction-1-02/

Also, Saint Peter Killed God will be available as a paperback book by March 1st.  It really should have been much faster.

Nothing major to report - sales are up and down. Thinking about offering SPKG for free for five days to promote it...

On the home front, Xavier keeps growing.  And I am thinking about writing another book - Living in Spain Without Speaking the Language.  Of course a dozen or so ideas have popped into my head and haven't seen the light of day - I'm hoping this one does.

Thanks for visiting and say hello in the comments and I'll try to pop by your blog sooner or later,
KJ

Friday, October 14, 2011

Verizon Can Kiss My...

I opened my Verizon bill and fell on the floor.  How the hell did I owe $265.52?  I checked to see if I paid last month’s bill.  Yep, all 76.01.  How could my bill increase almost 200 dollars in a single month?

First, the 83 dollar call.  That’s right, one call, 19 minutes, 83 bucks.  That’s over 4.35 cents a minute.  Yes, it was an international call.  My wife usually uses those calling cards that you buy in gas stations where you only have to pay ten cents a minute. She ran out of minutes and thought, what the hell, I’ll make one call to my parents in Spain.  We didn’t think 19 minutes would cost more than say 19 dollars.  Wrong.  We’ll never make that mistake again.

We also had our phone line suspended while we were in Spain.  When we came back, we no longer had caller ID or voice mail.  I asked to have them reinstated.  Cost to have them added - $44.99.  Just to add what was on my phone before I left.  I never asked to have caller ID or voice mail removed. 

Add to that a new rate – instead of 76 bucks a month, we now owe 105.  That’s an extra 29 bucks just to have caller ID, voice mail, and the ability to make long distance calls if need be.  Wait, make that 139 dollars – I forgot to add the taxes.  I still can’t figure out why it jumped more than 40 dollars since before I left for Spain when we have the same plan.  That’s right, the same plan – and three months later it’s 40 plus more dollars!

How much of this bill is just foolishness intended to rob naïve costumers like myself?  

And as I simmer, I think about all the other bills that come up that my parents never had to pay.  Cell phones, data plans, cable bills, internet, satellite radio, not to mention daycare.  Ah, what happened to the stay at home moms - when both parents didn't need to work to pay for their phone bills. Most of these bills aren't  necessary, but it seems like everyone considers most of them vital.   

I’m going to look into Vonage – I need to drop Verizon.  Maybe I’ll drop the cable and pick up NetFlicks.  Here I am saving nickels and dimes by cutting coupons for the groceries only to spend dollars on a stupid fricken call.  I wish I could drop all of them and just live off the grid.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with billing nightmare stories.  Add yours here - it'd be nice to know that I'm not alone.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

What is Saying the Lord's Name in Vain

Last year I got frustrated with my students and ended a sentence with “Jesus!” A student got so mad at me that I had to take him out in the hallway and asked him why.


“You aren’t supposed to use the Lord’s name in vain,” he said.

Jesus!

Do Christians’ believe that saying “Jesus” is against the Ten Commandments? If I say “Jesus”, will a little counter go off in the sky? Minus one for Kronlage; he said Jesus.

I’ve met people who are paranoid about saying “God Damn” because they believe that is saying the Lord’s Name in Vain. Do they believe if they say it enough, it will prevent them from getting into heaven?

So there I was in the hallway wondering what I should say to this angry student. I told him that I didn’t believe that it was wrong to say “Jesus” and if he felt it was wrong, then he should worry about saying it himself, not preventing other people from saying it.

That didn’t help.

I once heard a Christian say that he was in an airplane and it was going to crash. He said a prayer and miracle of all miracles, the plane didn’t crash. God heard his prayer and saved him because God had plan for him.

That is using the Lord’s name in vain. To be so narcissistic that he believed God saved his life because he prayed is a sin in my opinion. Does God not have a plan for anyone who died plane crash? What about all those praying for diseases to go away only to die? God must not have a plan for them either. To believe that God listens to one prayer is to believe that God denies all the other prayers left unanswered. How can anyone be so vain?

There are 6 billion people on this planet. If God spent one second on each person, it would take 190 years to get through the entire population of the earth if God worked around the clock without a break. To say that God listened to us is using God’s name in vain.

What are prayers for? The person saying the prayer. Nothing more. It helps one realize that we cannot control how things turn out. That there is some force greater than ourselves. But to believe that someone listens to our prayers is self-centered.

I couldn’t tell my student all of that so I let it go in an unsatisfying way. What would you have said?

Friday, August 26, 2011

PABBIS.org

Are you familar with PABBIS.org?  Check them out and tell me what you think.

Friday, August 12, 2011

The Funniest Novel I Ever Read - The Snow Whale by John Minichillo – Maybe, Maybe Not

A rarely laugh out loud when I read a book, so when I found myself doing that while reading the Snow Whale, I started to wonder what were the funniest novels I’ve ever read.


Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller come to mind, but they are both more amusing more than anything. And repetitive. While I like them, I don’t think they wrote the funniest books that I’ve read.

Charles Bukowski was a favorite of mine. I find his conflicts with society to be hilarious, although at times he can be pathetic and sad.

A Prayer for Owen Meany is a book that got me laughing out loud. But the entire book wasn’t that funny. Especially at the end when the narrator gives long sermons about skipping Vietnam, etc.

Which brings me back to the Snow Whale. Yes, it starts out funny. The humdrum of marriage, work, mid-life couldn’t be done any better and I thought that this might be the best comic novel I’ve ever read.

But the book offers so much more. And while there is a “fish out of water” element, it stops being funny, which isn’t a bad thing. Instead of novels that make me laugh, I started thing of Iron John by Robert Bly. In that book, he says that there really aren’t any true rituals or tests that initiate us into manhood. We are left empty feeling like man-children. And that’s exactly what happens to Jacobs. He is a man child on a quest to become a man.

What follows is an amazing journey. There are such tense moments at sea that I forgot that I was laughing at the beginning. No matter. This is a book that starts child-like and comic and grows into a more mature novel offering a lot more than just a few laughs.

So, what are the funniest novels you’ve ever read?

Monday, August 8, 2011

What is Your Favorite Bart Ehrman Book?

A reader asked me which book influenced me the most when writing Saint Peter Killed God. That’s a difficult question. Was she asking about what book on writing helped the most? Or which fiction book? She asked me if I had read a book by Pagels so I knew she was talking about non-fiction books about religion. Historical Jesus, that sort of thing.


Still, it’s is impossible to say where my ideas come from specifically. I can’t point to one book and say, “I got inspired here.” But when it comes to Christian history, Bart Ehrman is my favorite author. He writes in such a way that I feel like I’m just listening to him speaking. His writing is very accessible even when he starts talking about the complex. There are some weakness to reading so many books by one author because he repeats himself here and there. Like he might talk about reading the Bible ‘horizontally” vs. “vertically.” It’s a good point and he uses different examples in each book. Although I like what he says though, I haven’t yet tried it. Well, here are my Ehrman favorites:
Lost Christianities: The Battl...
1. Early Christianities – I find it fascinating that there were about a half dozen different types of Christianities that sprouted up and only one survived. Ehrman does an excellent job of not only explaining what each gr oup believed, but he also mentions which gospels they primarily read and why they lost out to the orthodox beliefs that Christians have today.

God's Problem: How the Bible F... 2. The God Problem – I saw Ehrman interviewed on the Cobert Report for this book. Stephen asked him, “Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls?” Ehrman took a second. I almost felt sorry for him, but he came up with a witty response (to bad I forgot what it was). Anyway, this book goes into what the Bible says about suffering, which surprised me (even though I was familiar with it). Much of it contradicted itself and most of it is unsatisfying. What I really like about this book is Ehrman is willing to say that he just can’t be a Christian anymore. Some many writers of Biblical History / Historical Jesus bend over backwards to rationalize Christianity.
Misquoting Jesus: The Story Be...
3. Misquoting Jesus – This was the first book by Ehrman that I read. Yes, I knew when the printing press was invented, so it makes sense that the Bible was originally copied. Ehrman explains the problems with this and shows how the early copies were possibly manipulated and why.
The Lost Gospel of Judas Iscariot: A New Look at Betrayer & Betrayed
4. Judas Iscariot – I didn’t think this book would be too interesting when I picked it up, but I was surprised. It is a wonder that as much of the manuscript survived as it did. Ehrman tells us what is in it and why. Entertaining.
The New Testament: A Historica...
5. The New Testament: A Historical Introduction to Early Christian Writings – Yes, this is sad. I liked Bart Ehram’s books so much that I bought his textbook for his class. One problem – much of what he writes here is repeated elsewhere and it is a textbook. Still, I think it’s good.
Jesus, Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible & Why We Don't Know About Them
6. Jesus, Interrupted – This is probably a good place to start. However, I felt like much of it was stuff I already knew and repeated elsewhere. Maybe it was a book I should have read instead of his textbook.
Peter, Paul & Mary Magdalene:...
7. Peter, Paul, and Mary – this book will make the top five eventually, but I’ve just started it and unfortunately I don’t have it with me so it might take a while to finish it. I’ve read enough of it to know that I like it as it got me thinking about how Peter is portrayed. I haven’t gotten to Paul or Mary yet so I feel like I shouldn’t even include this book on my list.

Have you read any books by Bart Ehrman? Which are your favorites? Do you disagree with my list? Which ones would you suggest that I read?