Last year I got frustrated with my students and ended a sentence with “Jesus!” A student got so mad at me that I had to take him out in the hallway and asked him why.
“You aren’t supposed to use the Lord’s name in vain,” he said.
Jesus!
Do Christians’ believe that saying “Jesus” is against the Ten Commandments? If I say “Jesus”, will a little counter go off in the sky? Minus one for Kronlage; he said Jesus.
I’ve met people who are paranoid about saying “God Damn” because they believe that is saying the Lord’s Name in Vain. Do they believe if they say it enough, it will prevent them from getting into heaven?
So there I was in the hallway wondering what I should say to this angry student. I told him that I didn’t believe that it was wrong to say “Jesus” and if he felt it was wrong, then he should worry about saying it himself, not preventing other people from saying it.
That didn’t help.
I once heard a Christian say that he was in an airplane and it was going to crash. He said a prayer and miracle of all miracles, the plane didn’t crash. God heard his prayer and saved him because God had plan for him.
That is using the Lord’s name in vain. To be so narcissistic that he believed God saved his life because he prayed is a sin in my opinion. Does God not have a plan for anyone who died plane crash? What about all those praying for diseases to go away only to die? God must not have a plan for them either. To believe that God listens to one prayer is to believe that God denies all the other prayers left unanswered. How can anyone be so vain?
There are 6 billion people on this planet. If God spent one second on each person, it would take 190 years to get through the entire population of the earth if God worked around the clock without a break. To say that God listened to us is using God’s name in vain.
What are prayers for? The person saying the prayer. Nothing more. It helps one realize that we cannot control how things turn out. That there is some force greater than ourselves. But to believe that someone listens to our prayers is self-centered.
I couldn’t tell my student all of that so I let it go in an unsatisfying way. What would you have said?
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
The Funniest Novel I Ever Read - The Snow Whale by John Minichillo – Maybe, Maybe Not
A rarely laugh out loud when I read a book, so when I found myself doing that while reading the Snow Whale, I started to wonder what were the funniest novels I’ve ever read.
Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller come to mind, but they are both more amusing more than anything. And repetitive. While I like them, I don’t think they wrote the funniest books that I’ve read.
Charles Bukowski was a favorite of mine. I find his conflicts with society to be hilarious, although at times he can be pathetic and sad.
A Prayer for Owen Meany is a book that got me laughing out loud. But the entire book wasn’t that funny. Especially at the end when the narrator gives long sermons about skipping Vietnam, etc.
Which brings me back to the Snow Whale. Yes, it starts out funny. The humdrum of marriage, work, mid-life couldn’t be done any better and I thought that this might be the best comic novel I’ve ever read.
But the book offers so much more. And while there is a “fish out of water” element, it stops being funny, which isn’t a bad thing. Instead of novels that make me laugh, I started thing of Iron John by Robert Bly. In that book, he says that there really aren’t any true rituals or tests that initiate us into manhood. We are left empty feeling like man-children. And that’s exactly what happens to Jacobs. He is a man child on a quest to become a man.
What follows is an amazing journey. There are such tense moments at sea that I forgot that I was laughing at the beginning. No matter. This is a book that starts child-like and comic and grows into a more mature novel offering a lot more than just a few laughs.
So, what are the funniest novels you’ve ever read?
Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller come to mind, but they are both more amusing more than anything. And repetitive. While I like them, I don’t think they wrote the funniest books that I’ve read.
Charles Bukowski was a favorite of mine. I find his conflicts with society to be hilarious, although at times he can be pathetic and sad.
A Prayer for Owen Meany is a book that got me laughing out loud. But the entire book wasn’t that funny. Especially at the end when the narrator gives long sermons about skipping Vietnam, etc.
Which brings me back to the Snow Whale. Yes, it starts out funny. The humdrum of marriage, work, mid-life couldn’t be done any better and I thought that this might be the best comic novel I’ve ever read.
But the book offers so much more. And while there is a “fish out of water” element, it stops being funny, which isn’t a bad thing. Instead of novels that make me laugh, I started thing of Iron John by Robert Bly. In that book, he says that there really aren’t any true rituals or tests that initiate us into manhood. We are left empty feeling like man-children. And that’s exactly what happens to Jacobs. He is a man child on a quest to become a man.
What follows is an amazing journey. There are such tense moments at sea that I forgot that I was laughing at the beginning. No matter. This is a book that starts child-like and comic and grows into a more mature novel offering a lot more than just a few laughs.
So, what are the funniest novels you’ve ever read?
Monday, August 8, 2011
What is Your Favorite Bart Ehrman Book?
A reader asked me which book influenced me the most when writing Saint Peter Killed God. That’s a difficult question. Was she asking about what book on writing helped the most? Or which fiction book? She asked me if I had read a book by Pagels so I knew she was talking about non-fiction books about religion. Historical Jesus, that sort of thing.
Still, it’s is impossible to say where my ideas come from specifically. I can’t point to one book and say, “I got inspired here.” But when it comes to Christian history, Bart Ehrman is my favorite author. He writes in such a way that I feel like I’m just listening to him speaking. His writing is very accessible even when he starts talking about the complex. There are some weakness to reading so many books by one author because he repeats himself here and there. Like he might talk about reading the Bible ‘horizontally” vs. “vertically.” It’s a good point and he uses different examples in each book. Although I like what he says though, I haven’t yet tried it. Well, here are my Ehrman favorites:
2. The God Problem – I saw Ehrman interviewed on the Cobert Report for this book. Stephen asked him, “Isn’t an agnostic just an atheist without balls?” Ehrman took a second. I almost felt sorry for him, but he came up with a witty response (to bad I forgot what it was). Anyway, this book goes into what the Bible says about suffering, which surprised me (even though I was familiar with it). Much of it contradicted itself and most of it is unsatisfying. What I really like about this book is Ehrman is willing to say that he just can’t be a Christian anymore. Some many writers of Biblical History / Historical Jesus bend over backwards to rationalize Christianity.
3. Misquoting Jesus – This was the first book by Ehrman that I read. Yes, I knew when the printing press was invented, so it makes sense that the Bible was originally copied. Ehrman explains the problems with this and shows how the early copies were possibly manipulated and why.
4. Judas Iscariot – I didn’t think this book would be too interesting when I picked it up, but I was surprised. It is a wonder that as much of the manuscript survived as it did. Ehrman tells us what is in it and why. Entertaining.
5. The New Testament: A Historical Introduction to Early Christian Writings – Yes, this is sad. I liked Bart Ehram’s books so much that I bought his textbook for his class. One problem – much of what he writes here is repeated elsewhere and it is a textbook. Still, I think it’s good.
6. Jesus, Interrupted – This is probably a good place to start. However, I felt like much of it was stuff I already knew and repeated elsewhere. Maybe it was a book I should have read instead of his textbook.
7. Peter, Paul, and Mary – this book will make the top five eventually, but I’ve just started it and unfortunately I don’t have it with me so it might take a while to finish it. I’ve read enough of it to know that I like it as it got me thinking about how Peter is portrayed. I haven’t gotten to Paul or Mary yet so I feel like I shouldn’t even include this book on my list.
Have you read any books by Bart Ehrman? Which are your favorites? Do you disagree with my list? Which ones would you suggest that I read?
Monday, July 25, 2011
How to Meet a Guy
I got married when I was 38. Before finding my wife, there was a lot of pressure to get married from friends, family members, and colleagues. Inevitably they’d say something like, “You might be able to find a girl at the supermarket or laundromat. You just have to keep your eyes open.”
I did. And going to the supermarket for 15 years as a single guy, I might have had a conversation once or twice with an eligible woman. So the book How to Meet a Guy in the Supermarket by Jessica L. Degarm grabbed my attention. Was there something I was doing wrong all those years?
Maybe, but maybe not. The book Sex in America lists the five most common ways people meet their spouses. The survey was done on people who were married for twenty or more years so internet dating sites wouldn’t make the list, yet. Here is the top five: School, work, introduced by a friend, church, and proximity (in other words, someone who is a neighbor you might see walking the dog, getting the mail, or in the supermarket). My wife and I are both teachers. We met at work through friends, so does that mean we met at school or at work or introduced? Either way, we met one of the most common ways. Obviously there can be some overlap.
Next on the list and in a distant sixth place was meeting someone in a bar. Meeting someone in a supermarket made the list but it was under one percent of couples but it was ahead of the laundromat, which also made the list. The author lumped them all together and called the category “meeting someone cold” – in other words, striking up a conversation with a stranger. Combined, it accounted for less than five percent of marriages lasting twenty years or only one marriage in twenty.
I wonder how many married people reading this met their spouse cold or are most of you like me - part of teh 95% that met their spouse the typical way? Or through match.com or some other internet dating site?
So why is there this big myth about meeting someone cold? It’s romantic and the thing you’d expect from a movie. Or maybe most people who met that way never get married or end up divorced before twenty years of marriage. So when I picked up How to Meet a Guy in the Supermarket, I wanted to know if it revealed this secret.
What I got was a delightful read. Quinn, the narrator, is able to laugh at herself as she comes up with one idea after another, most failing in bizarre ways. She has a personality that sets the tone and makes the book charming to read even though at times I wanted to scream at her. In a way, it reminds me Goldie Locks in the Three Bears, but you have to read it to see why I say that.
Let me get this straight, this is chick-lit romantic comedy. It is fun. Imagine yourself watching a movie like “The Proposal.” It has funny scenes that make you laugh. This book works in the same way. And I could picture it as a Hollywood movie. As long as you know what you’re getting into, this book is pure pleasure.
And what’s the key to a romance? Keep the two lovers separated. Create a lovers triangle or two. When the right guy comes along, the reader knows who it is, but Quinn doesn’t. And as long as they are apart, the book remains interesting. The story doesn’t disappoint and it stays interesting to the end.
I did. And going to the supermarket for 15 years as a single guy, I might have had a conversation once or twice with an eligible woman. So the book How to Meet a Guy in the Supermarket by Jessica L. Degarm grabbed my attention. Was there something I was doing wrong all those years?
Maybe, but maybe not. The book Sex in America lists the five most common ways people meet their spouses. The survey was done on people who were married for twenty or more years so internet dating sites wouldn’t make the list, yet. Here is the top five: School, work, introduced by a friend, church, and proximity (in other words, someone who is a neighbor you might see walking the dog, getting the mail, or in the supermarket). My wife and I are both teachers. We met at work through friends, so does that mean we met at school or at work or introduced? Either way, we met one of the most common ways. Obviously there can be some overlap.
Next on the list and in a distant sixth place was meeting someone in a bar. Meeting someone in a supermarket made the list but it was under one percent of couples but it was ahead of the laundromat, which also made the list. The author lumped them all together and called the category “meeting someone cold” – in other words, striking up a conversation with a stranger. Combined, it accounted for less than five percent of marriages lasting twenty years or only one marriage in twenty.
I wonder how many married people reading this met their spouse cold or are most of you like me - part of teh 95% that met their spouse the typical way? Or through match.com or some other internet dating site?
So why is there this big myth about meeting someone cold? It’s romantic and the thing you’d expect from a movie. Or maybe most people who met that way never get married or end up divorced before twenty years of marriage. So when I picked up How to Meet a Guy in the Supermarket, I wanted to know if it revealed this secret.
What I got was a delightful read. Quinn, the narrator, is able to laugh at herself as she comes up with one idea after another, most failing in bizarre ways. She has a personality that sets the tone and makes the book charming to read even though at times I wanted to scream at her. In a way, it reminds me Goldie Locks in the Three Bears, but you have to read it to see why I say that.
Let me get this straight, this is chick-lit romantic comedy. It is fun. Imagine yourself watching a movie like “The Proposal.” It has funny scenes that make you laugh. This book works in the same way. And I could picture it as a Hollywood movie. As long as you know what you’re getting into, this book is pure pleasure.
And what’s the key to a romance? Keep the two lovers separated. Create a lovers triangle or two. When the right guy comes along, the reader knows who it is, but Quinn doesn’t. And as long as they are apart, the book remains interesting. The story doesn’t disappoint and it stays interesting to the end.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The Magic of Finkleton by KC Hilton
There is something pleasing about reading a book aimed at a younger audience. I’m reminded about why Malcolm Gladwell said Blue’s Clues is more popular than Sesame Street. Blue’s Clues is more obvious. The chair is called a Thinking Chair. Whereas Sesame Street tends to be for adults at times and is a little more sophisticated / subtle, like when Big Bird ponders what would happen if his name was taken away. Children tested perferred Blue's Clues.
Which brings me to KC Hilton’s book.
Hemingway created a style where less is more. We are supposed to figure out every nuanced reaction. Here we are told what is going through each of the characters heads. We may know that a stomped foot means the child is frustrated, but here we are reminded. A child needs that kind of information. An adult doesn’t. But there is something pleasant, relaxing about reading a book that doesn’t require one to think too deeply about what every physical mannerism means.
And of course there is the fun of getting lost in the magic.
Finkleton is a magical place where secrets must sometimes be kept, and sometimes told. We enter a world before computers, i-pods. Well, actually this is a world before TV, telephones, and even cars. And in this world of Finkleton, everything is perfect for farming because of magic. But when the 80 year-old man passes who is keeping everything in balance, things at Finkleton start to go astray.
The three children are the heroes of this book. Each one has his or her strengths and together they can tackle the problems that they face, but can three children work together? They act like any child would, which makes this charming. And just when things start to straighten out, a new mystery is adding making me wonder if a sequel is in the works.
I’m not an expert on children’s books, but I imagine this is a good book for someone around 7 to 12. Or for adults who are looking for an escape to their inner childhood.
Which brings me to KC Hilton’s book.
Hemingway created a style where less is more. We are supposed to figure out every nuanced reaction. Here we are told what is going through each of the characters heads. We may know that a stomped foot means the child is frustrated, but here we are reminded. A child needs that kind of information. An adult doesn’t. But there is something pleasant, relaxing about reading a book that doesn’t require one to think too deeply about what every physical mannerism means.
And of course there is the fun of getting lost in the magic.
Finkleton is a magical place where secrets must sometimes be kept, and sometimes told. We enter a world before computers, i-pods. Well, actually this is a world before TV, telephones, and even cars. And in this world of Finkleton, everything is perfect for farming because of magic. But when the 80 year-old man passes who is keeping everything in balance, things at Finkleton start to go astray.
The three children are the heroes of this book. Each one has his or her strengths and together they can tackle the problems that they face, but can three children work together? They act like any child would, which makes this charming. And just when things start to straighten out, a new mystery is adding making me wonder if a sequel is in the works.
I’m not an expert on children’s books, but I imagine this is a good book for someone around 7 to 12. Or for adults who are looking for an escape to their inner childhood.
A Couple of Interviews
SPKG is out there and I've gotten a few reviews and a couple of interviews and a couple of offers for some more. I'll let you know when more come in. Thanks everyone for spreading the word. Here are a few links:
http://www.hannahwarrenauthor.com/?page_id=1469
And a slightly older one:
http://www.speakwithoutinterruption.com/site/2011/05/interview-with-slush-pile-readers-first-author-kj-kron/
SPKG is also now available at Barnes and Noble as well as Amazon.com and at Smashwords.com you can get for any e-reader. Don't have an e-reader? Download an ap and read it on your computer (or wait til it comes out in print).
http://www.hannahwarrenauthor.com/?page_id=1469
And a slightly older one:
http://www.speakwithoutinterruption.com/site/2011/05/interview-with-slush-pile-readers-first-author-kj-kron/
SPKG is also now available at Barnes and Noble as well as Amazon.com and at Smashwords.com you can get for any e-reader. Don't have an e-reader? Download an ap and read it on your computer (or wait til it comes out in print).
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